Haunted
by Amanda Kitswell
Summary: When you can't forget the one who got away, what can you truly have with the one you find after? F!Hawke/Anders after Fenris


_You and I walk a fragile line  
>I have known it all this time<br>But I never thought I'd live to see it break_

_Taylor Swift_

* * *

><p><em>His hands ghosted over her face and neck, fire burning in their wake. Her eyes fluttered closed, the image of his topaz eyes lingering in the darkness. His fingers slipped beneath the hem of her skirt, scratching roughly at the skin of her waist and hips. She shivered at his touch, involuntarily arching against him. Her hands slipped beneath his robes after she unhooked the clasps, pushing them off and leaving him in only his tunic and breeches.<em>

_Snaking his hands around her waist, he held her tightly. She buried her face in the crook of his shoulder, vaguely aware that it didn't feel right. Her hand reached up; his hair was loose and shorter. Her free hand grazed the skin of his chest, but felt marks different from the scars she was used to. The hand that was tangled in his hair brushed forward, finding the pointed ears of an elf. With a feeling of dread, she pulled back, opening her eyes and meeting the cool, olivine gaze that broke her to pieces. _

"_How could you replace me with _him_?" he accused, glaring through narrowed lids._

"_You left me," she spat back. "You shouldn't be here. You're the one who said we shouldn't have happened." Fire began to lick at her hands, swirling about her arms gracefully. Sparks showered from the tips of her fingers, the fury fueling her magic barely restrained. This side of her was what he hated—she would remind him of that until he finally let her be. "Leave. Now."_

_His eyes widened at her harshness, and he stepped forward, reaching for her. "Prentiss…"_

* * *

><p>"Prentiss!" a voice called softly as she was flung from the Fade. Her skin—covered in a fine sheen of sweat—was cast aglow by the soft light of the embers, valiantly burning in the fireplace long past when they should have expired. She was shocked back to the reality her dream had begun in, the firelight revealing a halo of blonde hair. Prentiss met her lover's gaze, soft amber eyes darkened with concern.<p>

She broke down into pained sobs as the memory of her dream lingered. Her breath hitched painfully and nails clawed into her flesh as she hugged herself in a vice grip, tiny crescents forming on her skin. She tried to keep the noise to a minimum, not wanting to attract the attention of her mother: she had enough to worry about, having lost Bethany to the Blight, and Carver to the Wardens.

The weight of a hand rested on her shoulder, the familiar presence a minor comfort. Anders wrapped her in his arms securely as she collapsed forward, and immediately she began to think of a reason to give him for her current state. Maker knew she couldn't tell him the truth: it would ruin everything if he found out she was still aching for Fenris in the deepest, most hidden parts of her subconscious.

Of course she had had her moments of joy with Anders. He told her what little he knew of her cousin, Cameron—the Hero of Ferelden and Warden Commander who had disappeared nearly two and a half years after the Blight—and the stories of Anders' time as a Warden, himself. Anything he believed could distract her from the pain he knew she was feeling, ignorant as he was to the true cause.

She choked on the tears as they began to flow anew, soaking into his robes. Pressing a finger to her chin and gently lifting until she met his eyes, he dipped his head down and kissed her sweetly, nothing but comfort in the gossamer touch of his lips to hers. It coaxed the smallest of smiles from her, even despite the hurt that refused to wane.

Holding her to him once more, Prentiss was desperately certain that she could find true happiness in that moment with Anders. And yet as her eyelids drooped and closed—sleep surrounding her in its deceptively calming presence—peridot eyes stared back, continuing to haunt her beyond the waking world.

* * *

><p><strong>This is a one shot I wrote for a contest over on deviantART. No happy endings here... I think this is a first for me...<strong>


End file.
